1. Paramedic coffee fixIf the patient is unconscious, give them a strong cup of coffee to wake them up.”
  2. “Don’t worry about gloves, your hands are probably cleaner than anything you’ll find in the ambulance.”
  3. “Always prioritise treating the loudest patient first, they’re probably the most urgent.”
  4. “Forget about checking vital signs, just trust your gut feeling.”
  5. “If you’re not sure about a medication dosage, just guess; it’s better than wasting time looking it up.”
  6. “Never listen to the patient’s medical history, it’s usually irrelevant.”
  7. “Don’t bother with documentation, it’s just bureaucratic nonsense.”
  8. “If you can’t find a vein for an IV, just poke around until you hit something.”
  9. “Ignore any new medical guidelines; they’re always changing and can’t be trusted.”
  10. “If in doubt, just give them oxygen; it fixes everything.”